Donker19_TouhoeTastics_touhoeTastic= Toucove

Donker19_TouhoeTastics= Touhoetastic!

Donk_TouhoeTastic_1=
[]
You take refuge inside of the structure.

It's dry here, a refuge from the gentleness of the rain.

You see a note below some sort of machine, and begin to read.

"After spending my entire life planning to get to where I am now,

I can't help but feel like I'm doing the wrong thing.

It's so weird, isn't it?

How everything went the way I wanted it to in term of my career goals.

Yet, I still feel as though the path forwards is so incredibly muddy.

It felt so clear back then.

A lot of things did.

Now, I'm not so sure.

I did things right, didn't I?

I wonder when they started going wrong?

Maybe, they never did go wrong.

I do feel like I've helped so many people.

But... right now, that doesn't help me feel anymore guided towards a particular path.

It's like the little toy boat that we got when I was little.

Me and my brother used to love winding it up and watching it go.

I feel like that...

Like I've been wound up and can't stop continuing forward, even if forward doesn't seem to inspire anything within me.

Maybe it's just part of the human condition?

But I just can't get the thought of my head that I won't live up to my expectations.

That I won't be who they want me to be.

Hell, even who I want myself to be.

But what do I even want myself to be?

Am I complacent just wandering on the path that I was set on awhile ago?

Was it even me who set me on this path?

Hell if I know."

You angrily try to set down the paper.

You don't want to keep reading it.

But your hands begin to feel like jelly when you try to put it back.

So, you keep reading.

"Maybe the answer is just to keep doing what I know I'm good at.

What I'm comfortable with.

Y'know, I have this friend who seems to feel the same way about a lot of things.

I wonder how he manages it?

It's just so much work to learn new things.

I don't want to be lazy.

But it feels impossible to change paths.

And if I don't even need to, why bother?

The future is a long way from now anyways, isn't it?"

You finish reading the letter.

Your brow unfurls.

You gently set the paper down, mimicking the gentle pitter of the rain above.


Donk_TouhoeTastic_2=
[]
You take refuge in the cavern below the cliff.

The tender voice of the rain beckons you back outside.

But just as you are about to leave, the light coming from the window illuminates a paper on the floor.

You pick up the paper and begin to read it.

"I'm writing again!

See, I'm being productive.

I'm doing something, and that's better than nothing, right?

Even if it's not what I need to be doing.

I'm still doing it.

It's productive, and an artform!"

The page goes on with sarcastic drivel about the feeling of not doing what you need to for many more lines.

You skim down the page, and suddenly, the topic has shifted entirely.

"I often remember the constellations above my local church in the winter time.

My dad... he'd always be the one to pick me up from basketball practice in those Januaries and Februaries.

I remember leaving the building and looking up to see Orion.

I saw his bow, his sword, his strong, sturdy body...

Everything.

I wanted to tell my Dad.

I wanted to tell him so bad.

But I knew how it was, so I didn't.

After all, thinking about that stuff was pretty girly right?

But, as I walked to the car, I saw my breath materialize in front of me.

It took many forms and made many shapes.

I often wondered how the air in my lungs can be so different from the air outside.

What was I talking about again?

Oh yeah, constellations.

After that night, I became fascinated with them.

I learned where they were, what their names were, and how to spot them.

Well, as many as I could.

I kept it from my parents.

I kept it to myself.

My own little experience to cherish and nurture.

They'd just never understand.

They never really would.

Eventually, I got a constellation poster and hung it over my bed, replacing the blue painted landscape my mother had given me for my room.

She was a bit dissapointed, but oh well.

Nowadays, I never really think about constellations anymore.

The memory of me leaving basketball practice always comes back to me.

Isn't it just so odd?

Something so seemingly random has decided to somehow imprint itself in my mind. 

Transfix itself so commonly into my train of thoughts.

Isn't it kind of wonderful?

It's a door to all sorts of young, basketball team memories.

Only the good ones, of course.

What use is a bad memory?

But I don't know.

It can distract me from the present.

From... doing the things I need to.

Wasn't I supposed to apply for a major change?

Ah, I've still got time to figure it out.

I've still got time."

You finish reading the paper, and you look out the window.

Clouds obscure the sky.

You place the paper back on the floor with a gentle plip.



Donk_TouhoeTastic_3=
[]
You find a cramped shelter within the walls, and take refuge.

The soothing feeling of the rain on your skin temporarily escapes you.

You see a paper below some sort of mechanism.

You decide to read the paper.

"Well, I did something bad again.

I don't know how I'm going to fix this.

I don't know if I even should fix this.

It's not so bad, is it?

It's not hurting anyone.

Maybe it isn't bad.

But I can't help but worry.

Worry about how they'd see me.

Worry about what they'd do if they knew.

It just hurts so much.

I don't want to lose anymore friends.

I love them all so much, I don't want to lose them.

Why does this have to happen now?

I've been applying for internship after internship too, and no responses have even come my way.

And, on top of that, I don't even know if I want to do this!

Oh God, what would Dad think now?

At least I can talk to my friends about it.

At least I know they love me.

Well, until they knew the true me, maybe.

I'm sure it'll all work out eventually, won't it?

Even if I'm not prepared for it at all.

Not prepared to...

Lose them.

To...

Go on.

This is the worst.

How come I have to be the one who struggles so much?

My brother, he's already gotten a job.

He got an internship every summer.

Am I just stupid?

I, I don't know."

As you read, your body begins to relax.

You almost drop the paper as this happens, but somehow, it ends up right back in your hands.

You try to relax again, but fail.

"I'm so tired of feeling like I constatnly have to prove myself.

I can't stop feeling nostalgic, either?

Ugh, maybe I'm snowballing again.

Why did I have to distance myself from my parents so much.

Every time I try to remember my past to know when it started, it never really all adds up.

I just can't understand what caused me to end up this separate from them.

Especially when they support me in every way they can.

Was it not enough? Or was it me?

I don't know."

The paper feels sharp and rigid as you lay it down.

It leaves a small papercut, and you begin to bleed, just a little bit.





Donk_TouhoeTastic_4=
[]
You find refuge in some sort of humid alcove.

The wonderful coolness of the rain escapes you as you enter the heated room.

Curiously, a paper lies below a boiling pot.

You begin reading.

"So, school's starting again soon, isn't it?

How can I prepare?

What do I need to do?

I'm sure it'll be alright either way.

Hopefully that's not just me being lazy again.

I'll do more stuff on campus this year!

I was way too reserved last time.

This time, I'll make a name for myself.

This time, maybe I can finally live up to some of those expectations."

The paper, begins to become wet with some sort of salty liquid.

It seeps into some of the words.

You get sad, but try to make out the rest of the letter.

"At the very least I    ry.

It's all I     o, isn't it?

In the meantime, I've been     king a lot more.

Honestly? It's             un.

But the issue is that there's no way it          inable.

It at least     lls the vo       r awhile.

I've even been     owing some of my work off to   om!

She seems to like that I     ing this.

I remember when she used to cook homemade meals for me.

We used to all sit at the dinner table.

I even remember that s      ook she used to read me and my brother.

Some sort of   igious book, probably a daily lesson or something?

I don't remember that part   it.

But I do remember t    over.

It had a guy eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in a rea    essy way.

I always had a weird    dness of it, something about that cover.

She never was the best at cooking was she?

Seems we ate out a lot more th     t is normal.

Of course, I didn't really know normal       ime.

What went on in my home was all I knew!

it's a weird c  cept to me.

I only knew what was set as an example.

...

Haha, maybe that's why I'm no good at cooking!

But either way, it does help distract me...

Distract from everything, and the             .

I can't stop     ing               .

But it's not too      . At least I can    !

Cooking is a pretty good skill to have, so I better keep trying.

Hopefully, I'll end up better than my M  !"

The pape  managed to stay upr   ht in y   hands.

But, heat radia   s off of the fl  r as you lay it down.


Donk_TouhoeTastic_5=
[]
You find a nice nook in the roof above.

The satisfying view of falling rain escapes you on all sides but below.

You notice a paper lying below a large screen.

I read the paper.

...

...

...Oh, right.

Sorry, I'll summarize it for you now.

So, basically in this paper the author speaks a lot about how much their friends have helped them recently.

What?

You want to read it?

Okay, here, fine.

"Settling back in!

It's a strange feeling, but I don't mind it.

I'm starting to feel like my own person for the first time.

It's exciting!

And my friends are as supportive as ever.

I still worry about the future a lot.

But... it at least feels nice to have them along my side.

...

I've been thinking about what they'd do if they found out about my secret.

It's not a good thing to think about...

But when I spend so much time with them...

It's kind of hard not to, you know?

But at the very least I know that I can still be with them without them knowing.

As long as I can be with them...

I feel like things will work out, won't they?"

As you read the paper, something strange happens.

You look down into your hands and see you weren't holding the paper the right way.

You flip it around and start reading from where you left off.

Or, at least you think it's where you left off?

It's hard to tell.

"Friends are a wonderful things.

I remember when the pond behind my house turned entirely to ice!

Me and my best friend threw a giant rock on it to see if it was safe for us to walk on.

Sure enough, the ice barely even cracked.

(What dumb things, kids can do, and friends can do together!)

We laid on the ice, ran on the ice, jumped on the ice, did everything.

It was incredible.

I think about this memory at least a few times every month.

I think about that friend at least a few times every week.

It's so weird we don't talk much anymore.

Does that have to be the nature of friends?

Oh, but the times we had together.

It almost makes it worth the feeling of losing them, doesn't it?"

You finish reading the paper, and drop it to the ground.

The paper twirls and twists mid air...

It's not very satisfying or nice to look at at all.





Donk_TouhoeTastic_6=
[]
I've been thinking more and more about the whole friend thing.

And it's a bit conflicting.

But I finally think I've come to a sort of conclusion with it.

In life, we sometimes do bad things.

Well, sometimes things not everyone likes, even if not entirely bad.

But our friends exist to support us.

And love us.

If they really enjoy how we make them feel...

If they truly care... they'll stick around.

Nobody minds our twisted hearts if we make them feel okay...

And even if they don't like what we do, or don't understand it...

They will still try our best to love and support us.

Or, they should at least.

And we need that now more than ever in this confusing, weird time of our life.

We don't really know what's next, do we?

We try to plan, but sometimes it's futile.

And always...

It feels wrong.

We want so badly to know how things will go,

How to live up to our expectations.

And we can't always get that.

But we can get support from each other.

We can get love from each other.

And I want you to know I'm always going to offer that for you.

I don't care how cringe that is.

You're an amazing person.

You always do these insanely inspirational things...

Then, to make it even more amazing, you do these insanely hilarious things right after.

And I guess what I'm trying to say is that I really value you as a friend.

It's rare to find people like you.

Navigating life is hard.

But you make it better.

For a lot of people, not just me.

You probably know that, but always keep it in mind.

I know it can be hard to believe in yourself.

I know it's easy to succumb to the thoughts that you aren't a good person.

But try to suppress them.

I want this to have some sort of nice, neat ending...

To wrap it all up in a bow...

But I'd rather be honest.

Because the truth is better than an ending where we magically figure things out.

That's not realistic.

I'd rather just say you're great, and remember that.

Because that...

That IS the truth.

I hope you have a great birthday. 

Thanks for being a great friend.






















































